ellerkay: (Supernatural)
[personal profile] ellerkay
[See masterlist for ratings, warnings, wordcount, etc.]

Part 2


***
Sam sat on a bench, watching the park in front of him with a morose expression.

“Don’t you ever get tired of brooding?” Lucifer asked. He sat next to Sam, leg crossed over one knee, jiggling it impatiently.

Sam only sighed in reply, and Lucifer rolled his eyes.

“Seriously. For a guy who just got laid for the first time in months, you’re awfully sulky. Aren’t you happy to see your cranky doctor lady again?”

“It just…brought up a lot of feelings,” Sam mumbled.

“Oh, no. Not feelings.”

“And the fight with Dean. I just…” Sam sighed again. “What am I supposed to do?”

“Well, don’t look at me. I’m the fake Satan who lives in your head. I’m here to mock you, not dispense life advice.”

Castiel appeared suddenly, in the place Sam had imagined Lucifer to be occupying. Sam jumped a mile.

“Watching humanity – it never gets old, does it?” Castiel said.

“Cas,” Sam gasped, willing his racing heart to slow. “You startled me.”

“You’d think by now you’d be used to angels appearing suddenly for a chat,” Lucifer said. He had moved to stand behind the bench.

Castiel looked at Sam. “Dean and the prophet Kevin and I need your help.”

Sam looked away. “I don’t know, Cas.”

“Crowley has kidnapped an angel. Samandriel.”

“Alfie?”

“We believe he is being tortured. We need to free him.” Castiel’s gaze was steady, and sad. “Sam. I have failed so many of my brothers. I cannot fail this one.”

Sam chewed his lip, avoiding Castiel’s eyes.

“Would you quit playing hard to get and say yes already? You know you can’t say no to his puppy dog face.” Lucifer paused. “I’m starting to think you have a thing for him, too. Maybe not like Dean, but there’s definitely something – ”

“Okay,” Sam said quickly. “I’ll go with you.”

Castiel nodded and touched Sam’s shoulder, and they disappeared.

***

“Well, I do know this,” Dean said, back at Rufus’ cabin the next day. “Whatever you decide, decide. Both feet in or both feet out. Anything in between is what gets you dead.”

“Yeah, I keep hearing that,” Sam replied. “I’m gonna…take a walk. Clear my head.”

He shut the cabin door quietly behind him, and set off into the woods. “Lucifer?” he said.

Lucifer appeared next to him, an eyebrow raised. “You rang?”

“I’m trying to figure out what I should do. Hunting, or…see if Amelia’s waiting for me.” He hesitated. “What…what do you think?”

“Please tell me you’re joking.” Sam just looked at him. “What did I say about this? I’m not your damn life coach.”

“Well, I could use someone else’s thoughts,” Sam snapped.

“And I’m just the invisible BFF to give my input?”

“It’s not just that,” Sam said. “It’s, I mean…You have to live my life, too. Kind of.”

Lucifer blinked at him. “What?”

“You live in my head. You can’t go anywhere, and you can’t see anything but what I see.”

“When you let me,” Lucifer said.

“Look, I’m not giving you final say, or anything. But I want your input.”

Lucifer pursed his lips, and they walked in silence for a moment.

“If Dean’s out fighting the good fight, and you’re in Kermit, Texas with your girlfriend, all you’re going to do is work yourself up into a guilt spiral once a month,” Lucifer said finally. “It’s the Sam Winchester period. You don’t need me to tell you that.”

“Yeah,” Sam said quietly.

“But, I know you’ll feel the need to tell me all about it, every time it happens. At great length. While you cry, and I suppress my gag reflex. Which I do not want.”

Sam smiled, just a little.

“And if we’re talking about what I do want…”

“Yeah?”

Lucifer shrugged. “You two see a lot of shit towns. But at least there’s the occasional scenery on the road. And watching you fight is more entertaining than being hand-scarred away from watching you have sex.”

Sam nodded slowly. “Yeah. Okay. Thanks.”

“Ugh. After a Hallmark moment like that, I feel like I need to take a shower,” Lucifer muttered.

***

Later that night, after the boxing match was long over and Sam and Dean had drunk their way through a televised Clint Eastwood movie, Dean turned off the TV with a sigh. He and Sam sat quietly for a few minutes, sipping their beers.

“I probably shouldn’t ask this,” Dean said. “I should probably just leave it alone, but…”

“What?” Sam said, when he didn’t go on.

“What…what made you stay, man?” Dean blurted.

“Um.” Sam cleared his throat. “I guess it just seemed like the right thing to do. See this through.”

“Okay, but there’s your girl, and you always hated hunting anyway. What made you come down in favor of the life?”

“I don’t know, Dean. I talked to –” He cut himself off abruptly. Damn it, he thought. Too many beers. Dean, too, or he wouldn’t be asking this, Sam knew.

“Who?” Dean asked. “Amelia? You got cell service in those woods?”

“Uh.” Sam’s tongue wasn’t catching up with his brain in time to lie, and before he could recover, he saw Dean’s face twist in anger.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he said. “Lucifer?”

Sam sighed. “Dean, I don’t wanna argue with you, okay?”

“You’re taking advice from Lucifer now?”

“I couldn’t believe it either,” Lucifer said, from a chair a few feet away.

“Go away,” Sam hissed, unwilling to press the hand scar and get Dean even more pissy.

“No way. You two arguing is my soap opera. Now that I never get to watch Charmed.”

Dean got up from the couch, shaking his head. “I don’t even know what to say to you anymore, Sam.”

“Well, Lucifer convinced me to do what you wanted me to do,” Sam said. “So I don’t know what you’re so pissed about.”

Dean glared at him. “Right. Great. Tell him I’m real friggin’ grateful. Good night, Sam.” He threw his beer bottle into the trash and went to the bathroom, closing the door a little too hard behind him.

“You’re welcome!” Lucifer called after him cheerfully. Sam leaned his head back and sighed.

***

What Sam and Dean had thought was a single vampire working alone had turned out to be a pair. Dean was fighting the male on the other side of the room, while Sam had just shot the female full of dead man’s blood and was trying to take her head off with a knife as she battered his forearms weakly. Sam wished he had the machete, but it had been in Dean’s hand last time he’d glanced up.

He was so intent on his task that he didn’t sense the creature nearly on top of him until he heard Lucifer’s warning shout.

“Behind you, moron!”

Sam spun around, just in time to roll away from the vampire’s lunge. He jumped to his feet and, after grappling with the vampire for a few minutes, managed to stick him with the knife, which had also been dipped in dead man’s blood. Dean, who had dispatched his own vampire, came over to help finish off the other two.

“Nice catch with that one sneaking up behind you,” he said.

“You saw that?”

“Yeah, my guy was choking me and I couldn’t yell to you. I was freaking out. Thought you were a goner for sure. I can’t believe you heard him. Dude moved like a ninja cat.”

Sam wiped his knife clean on his sleeve, studiously avoiding Dean’s eyes. “Actually, I didn’t hear him.”

“Yeah? You just feel him behind you?”

“No.” Sam looked up finally. “Lucifer warned me.”

Dean blinked, frowning. “You’re shitting me.”

“Nope.”

“Why?”

Sam shrugged. “I told you. We’re friends. Sort of.”

“Huh.” Dean went across the room to gather up the weapons he’d dropped.

“Aw,” Lucifer said. “That just warms my heart every time, Sammy.”

“Thanks,” Sam said.

“There’s no need for your sarcasm.”

“I meant, for saving my life.”

Lucifer snorted. “I’m just looking out for my own. As dumb as you are, I honestly don’t know how you’ve lived this long. Oh, wait a second – you haven’t.”

Sam rolled his eyes.

“Do you think they were fucking?” Lucifer mused, as they walked back to the car.

“What? Who?”

“The vampires. I mean, you idiots thought it was just one. Then it turned out to be a couple. Then that other guy shows up and would’ve killed you, if not for my heroic intervention.” He paused. “You know what they call two guys and a girl together, don’t you?”

“I bet you’re going to tell me.”

“Devil’s three-way.”

Sam gave a little laugh, shaking his head. Dean glanced back at him with a strange expression on his face.

“What’d he say?” he asked, as he opened the trunk and began replacing the weaponry.

Sam hesitated for a moment. “Uh, he was speculating about the vampires’ sex lives.”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “Really.”

“Yeah. He pointed out that two guys and a girl together is called a – ”

Dean’s lip twitched. “Yeah, I know what it’s called. Tell him he’s not as funny as he thinks he is.”

“It’s true,” Lucifer said. “I’m even funnier.”

***

Sam sighed and leaned back in his chair in the Men of Letters’ lair, rubbing his eyes. He frowned at the stack of books next to him.

“Go to bed, already,” Lucifer said from across the table. “You’ve been working on this for six hours. It’s not like there’s any rush. Dean won’t be back from checking on Kevin for another day.”

“If I finish cataloging this stack, I can put them back and that whole bookshelf will be done,” Sam said. “I’m so close.”

“You know the Men of Letters already catalogued them, right?”

“Yeah, in an actual card catalogue. I want to have it on the computer, too.” He opened the next book with a determined air and started tapping away at his keyboard, only to be interrupted by a yawn so big he had to stop typing till it was over.

“Couldn’t you just digitize the catalogue, then?”

“I want to look at the books,” Sam said.

“Like you even know what you’re doing. You learned how to use a law library; that doesn’t mean you can put your hair up in a bun and shush everybody with authority.” Lucifer tilted his head and narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing Sam. “Actually, we probably could get your hair into a bun. Want to try?”

“Shh…” Sam said. Two seconds later he was yawning again.

“All right,” Lucifer said, crossing to stand behind Sam. “Shove over. I’ll finish this.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Let me drive,” Lucifer said impatiently. Sam stared at him blankly. A moment later, his left hand twitched, not of his own volition. He slammed his other hand down on it.

“Stop that,” he said, glaring at Lucifer.

“Would you relax? I’m going to do your boring cataloguing for you, and then you can go to bed.”

“The last time you ‘drove,’ you took me to a warehouse and tried to get me to shoot myself!”

“Sam, I haven’t tried to kill you for almost two years! Where’s the trust?”

“How would it even help? It’s my body that’s tired. My brain. That’s what you’ll be using.”

Lucifer shrugged. “It might work. You never know till you try.”

Sam hesitated.

“Come on! It’ll be fun.”

“Fun for you, maybe.” Sam chewed his lip. “How would we even – ”

“Easy.” In a flash, Sam saw his hands grab a new book; his fingers flip to the title page and start entering the information into his laptop. He could see what was happening, but he couldn’t control it. Panic crashed through him and he forced himself – forced Lucifer – to stop typing.

“Oh, calm down,” Lucifer said. Sam could see him in the chair next to him again. Sam breathed deeply, his heart racing.

“You can’t – you can’t just do that!” he said.

“Obviously, I can.”

“Well then don’t!” Sam ran a hand through his hair.

“Jeez. Sorry,” Lucifer said, sounding annoyed. He stared at Sam, who was still struggling to breathe calmly, and his expression changed. “Okay, look, I didn’t mean for you to freak out, you big baby.”

“Just ask, okay? Don’t just – start driving,” Sam said.

Lucifer held up his hands. “Okay, okay.”

“You know, I was actually thinking about letting you!”

“I know.”

“Then why did you have to jump in before I got a chance to say yes?”

“You know me, Sam. I’m impetuous.” Lucifer frowned, staring at the table. “I just...wanted to do something. Anything.”

Sam got still, staring at Lucifer. Lucifer glanced up and made a face.

“I hate when you look at me like that, Sam.”

Sam looked away. He turned back to the laptop and typed a few words, then yawned again.

“Okay, I’m obviously done for the night,” he said, with studied casualness. “Why don’t you, um…finish this record, and then see how we feel.”

Lucifer blinked at him. A second later, Sam’s fingers were busy at work, while he watched sleepily.

“It actually does seem like you have more energy than I do,” Sam said. “Weird. You wouldn’t think it could work like that. Maybe there’s something in the shift in thought patterns? Or, I guess you are kind of a byproduct of the supernatural, what with the wall and everything, so maybe – ”

“Would you shut up, Chatty Cathy?” Lucifer said, glancing back at the book. “I’m trying to get this done.”

Sam smiled, and was quiet.

***

“You know,” Dean said, “when I look back at what our family’s been through, what everybody’s been through, seeing all that pain…I realize that the only way we’ve made it through it all is by hanging together. I trust you, Sammy. With this deal, locking those sons of bitches up in the furnace once and for all, it’s too important not to. So if you say you’re good…then that’s it. I’m with you one hundred percent.”

In the backseat, Lucifer started a slow clap.

“I’m good,” Sam said. He coughed a few times, fist in front of his mouth. Glancing down at his hand, he realized there was blood on it.

Lucifer leaned forward, frowning.

“I’m not exactly a master of human biology, because it’s disgusting and I try to know as little about it as possible, but I’m pretty sure that crap’s supposed to be on the inside.”

“Yeah,” Sam said quietly. He rubbed his hand clean on his jeans hastily.

“Fuck.” Lucifer flopped back against the backseat and sighed. “This isn’t going to end well.”

“It’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, because when my dad gets involved, it’s always a fun, relaxing time, isn’t it? Hey, maybe the second trial will be eating an ice cream cone! And for the third, we have a fun day at the zoo.”

“I can handle it,” Sam said, staring out the passenger side window.

Lucifer snorted. “Are you going to tell Dean?”

“Are you kidding? When I just got him on board?”

“Under the assumption that you’re okay. Which you’re demonstrably not. I’ve seen movies. Coughing up blood is a surefire sign you’re going to die.”

“Yeah, back when people got consumption.”

“So, that’s a no on telling big brother.”

Sam sighed. “Dean will just insist on taking over the trials.”

“Well, that’s true. His martyr streak is even wider than yours, which I can’t believe is possible. Maybe you should let him do it.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Sam said tonelessly.

“I’m just saying. You die, you fuck over you and me both. If he dies, it’s just him.”

“I said shut the fuck up.” Sam jammed his thumb into the hand scar, so hard he gave a little gasp of pain. Dean glanced over, eyebrow raised.

“Trouble in paradise?”

“Sometimes he runs his mouth,” Sam muttered.

“Satan? Mouthy? No...” Sam’s smile was more like a grimace. “Gotta say, I’m kinda glad you don’t get along with him every second. Shows you’re still thinking for yourself.”

“Of course I am, Dean.”

“Yeah, I can see that. And hey, as long as he’s got your back, I guess he can’t be all bad.” He laughed shortly. “Never thought I’d be saying that about the devil.”

Sam didn’t reply. Dean eyed him.

“Geez. What did he say to get you this pissy?”

Sam finally looked at him. “Nothing, man. I’m just tired. Think I’ll try and get some sleep.” He folded up his jacket to use as a pillow and closed his eyes. He fell asleep to the sound of Dean softly humming “Battle of Evermore.”

***

Sam and Dean were pressed flat to a cement wall, held in place by Artemis’ power. Lucifer, tapping his foot impatiently, was watching Zeus.

“The guy never shuts up, does he?” Lucifer said. “He’s always been like this, you know.”

“You knew him?” Sam asked. Lucifer waved a hand.

“Knew of him, at least. Artemis, too. She was awfully uppity. Prideful, I guess I should say. It’s a trait I can appreciate, but she brought it to a whole new level.”

“Uh huh,” Sam said, watching Zeus talk to Hayley and Prometheus. Lucifer snapped his fingers in front of Sam’s face.

“Hey! Pay attention when I talk to you. You might learn something.”

Sam frowned at him. “Like what?”

“Like, I used to hear rumors about her. And about him.”

“Him who? Prometheus?” Lucifer nodded, and understanding dawned on Sam’s face. “What kind of rumors?”

Lucifer grinned.

***

“How did you know Artemis had the hots for Prometheus, anyway?” Dean asked, when they were in the car, heading back towards the Men of Letters’ lair.

“Lucifer,” Sam said. “He said he’d heard about them, back in the day.”

“Son of a bitch,” Dean said, reluctantly impressed. “And he just told you that?”

“Yeah,” Sam replied. “Sure. Why wouldn’t he?”

Dean shrugged. “Well, he saved both our asses this time.”

“Tell Dean I said you’re welcome,” Lucifer said. Sam laughed. Dean glanced at him, and Lucifer leaned forward.

“Tell him,” he repeated, insistently.

“Uh, Lucifer says you’re welcome,” Sam said.

Dean was quiet for a moment. “Yeah, I guess – thanks,” he said.

“I knew it,” Lucifer said. “I knew he loves me, too. Tell him.”

“Uh…”

“Tell him!”

“What? What’d he say?” Dean asked.

“He says, he knows you love him, too.”

Dean snorted. “Tell him not to push his luck.” But he was smiling.

Sam put his head back, frowning a little.

“You look like you’re thinking hard,” Lucifer said. “Does it hurt?”

“I was just wondering,” Sam said. “How did you know about Artemis and Prometheus?”

“Uh…were you listening to the conversation you just had with Dean?”

“No, I mean – I get that you heard about them. But how did you know that? I didn’t know that. You live in my brain. How can you know things I don’t know?”

“You were my vessel – you know, the other me. All my knowledge and memories were in your head.”

“Yeah. Were. I didn’t remember that stuff after the other Lucifer left. Some of what he thought and felt when he was actually here, but not the rest of it.”

Lucifer shrugged. “Well, I remember it.”

“Huh.” Sam reflected on this for a moment. “Maybe I retained it deep down somewhere, and you’re able to access that, even though I can’t.”

“Sure, whatever,” Lucifer said, sounding bored.

“But wait a minute – there’s no way I could keep all that. Lucifer had – ”

“Ahem.”

“The other Lucifer had centuries and centuries of knowledge. I could barely contain it when I had an angel riding me.”

“Oh, and I sure did ride you, didn’t I, Sammy?” Lucifer reached forward and started petting Sam’s hair. Sam slapped his hand, and Lucifer sat back again, smirking. “I doubt you’ve got all of it in here. But there’s some. And I’ve got the keys.” His voice became sing-song. “Thank you for calling the Lucifer Hotline. Dial ‘1’ for information. ‘2’ for moose control services. ‘3’ for – ”

“Shut up,” Sam said, trying not to smile. He shut his eyes, and determinedly ignored Lucifer’s continuing menu options.

***

A couple days later, Sam entered the Men of Letters hub, loaded down with the groceries Dean had demanded in his recent culinary kick (“Seriously? You need parsley?” he’d said when Dean handed him the list, but Dean had just pushed him out the door, grinning), as well as the obligatory twelve-pack.

It was stupid, Sam thought, but he liked that they bought twelve-packs when they were at the hub, instead of six-packs, which was the standard if they were on the road. It added to the hub’s sense of hominess, that they could buy a bunch of beer and leave it till they wanted it.

“That really is stupid,” Lucifer agreed, grinning lazily. “You two have had such a tragic life, a fridge full of beer means home.” His tone was entirely friendly, lacking even the slight edge such jibes usually held. He was in a good mood. Sam had let him drive (in both senses of the word) to the store and back. Lucifer had stayed present during the shopping trip, suggesting a number of outrageous items and attempting to take control long enough to put some of them in the cart. Sam stopped him, but let him get a box of Honey Nut Cheerios when it seemed like Lucifer actually wanted them.

“Shut up,” Sam replied automatically, shaking his head and grinning back. Lucifer bounded down the stairs, taking them two at a time. Sam heard – or would felt be more appropriate? – Lucifer anticipating the bowl of Cheerios he was going to try and convince Sam to eat as soon as they got the groceries put away. It was a little weird, still, when they could read each other’s thoughts like that. It mostly seemed to happen when Lucifer had been ‘driving.’ It could be unsettling, but most of the time it didn’t bother Sam too much.

Sam called out to Dean, letting him know he was home. He heard an answering shout, and Dean joined him almost immediately in the kitchen, helping to put the groceries away and inspecting Sam’s choices.

“Good, you got the good bacon,” he murmured.

“Yeah, Dean, I got exactly what you told me to get,” Sam said, rolling his eyes. Lucifer, sitting backwards on a kitchen chair, snickered.

Dean pulled the Honey Nut Cheerios out of the bag and raised an eyebrow at Sam.

“Seriously? I thought you hated these.”

“No, I just got sick of them after it was practically all we had to eat that week when I was twelve and Dad was away hunting longer than expected, and we ran out of money cause you thought we had extra and spent it on beer.”

“Oh, yeah.” Dean laughed. “So, what, you were feeling nostalgic?”

“No. Lucifer wanted them.”

Dean smirked. “You’re kidding. The devil has a thing for breakfast cereal? Tell him if he wants something good, he should try Peanut Butter Cap’n Crunch.”

“This is good; you just have no taste, you stupid ape,” Lucifer said, using Sam’s voice, and snatching the box away from Dean with Sam’s hand. Sam froze.

It had happened without either of them thinking about it. Sam had gotten into the habit of letting Lucifer drive sometimes, if they were alone; do little tasks, or read something he found interesting…they even talked out loud to each other occasionally. But they had never done it in front of Dean.

Realizing his mistake, Lucifer withdrew immediately, and Sam turned quickly to his brother.

“Dean – ” he said. But the damage was already done. Dean’s face was ashen, his eyes wide and panicked.

“Shit,” Lucifer muttered, back in the chair now. He scrubbed a hand through his hair, expression rueful.

“Sammy?” Dean croaked. Sam hurried around the table to him.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s me,” he said, taking Dean’s elbow. “Sit down, man, you’re freaking me out. You look like you’re about to faint.”

Dean laughed hollowly, letting Sam guide him into a chair, which was maybe the most worrying thing of all – Sam had seen Dean claim he was going to “walk it off” when he had a broken rib, several knife wounds, and a concussion.

I’m freaking you out?” Dean said, voice strained. Sam hurriedly filled a glass with water from the tap and brought it back to Dean. Dean stared at it for a moment like he was trying to figure out what it was, then put it down on the table, untouched.

“Dean, it’s not what it looked it,” Sam said. Dean looked up at him slowly. The color was back in his face; in fact, he was rapidly becoming flushed.

“Not what it looked like?” he repeated. He stood up so fast he knocked his chair over.

“Not what it looked like?” he said again, almost shouting now. “Because you know what it looked like, Sammy, it like you were fucking possessed by Satan!”

“He wasn’t possessing me,” Sam said, keeping his voice calm.

“Oh yeah?” Dean said, getting up in his face. “Was he talking through your mouth? Was he using your goddamn hands?”

“Dean – ”

“Was he?”

Sam sighed. “Yeah, but – ”

“Cause that’s pretty much the textbook fucking definition of possession!”

“It’s not possession if you agree to it!” Sam tried. It was the wrong thing to say. Dean’s face darkened, and his voice was low and dangerous.

“Oh yeah? You gave the okay? Decided to let the devil ride you? Be his little bitch?”

“Just say yes,” Lucifer advised. “That’s what he wants to hear.” Sam’s eyes flicked towards him, surprised to see that Lucifer’s expression was more like resignation tinged with sadness than anger or annoyance.

Sam tried to keep his face blank, but he must have given something away, because Dean grabbed him suddenly by the lapels.

“Is he fucking listening?” he hissed.

“Uh – ”

“Tell him – ” Sam almost thought he heard Lucifer think sorry but he quickly said, “I didn’t mean to do that to him.”

“He says he didn’t mean to do that to you,” Sam said, then frowned. “Wait, do what to you?”

Dean gave him a little shake, staring into Sam’s eyes. “You make him go the fuck away.”

“Okay, okay,” Sam said. He glanced apologetically at Lucifer, who waved dismissively and disappeared.

“He’s gone,” Sam reported to Dean.

“You didn’t do the hand thing.”

“He left on his own. I didn’t have to make him.”

Dean stared at him for another moment, a hard expression on his face, then nodded and released Sam, exhaling and turning away.

Sam smoothed his shirt. “What did he mean?”

“Sam, you can be a real fucking idiot sometimes.”

“I don’t –”

“Sam!” Dean turned back on him, pain suddenly warring with the anger on his face. “It’s not – “ He swallowed hard, eyes bright. “It’s not the first time Lucifer’s talked to me through you.”

Sam felt his shoulders slump. “Oh,” he said dumbly. “Right. Fuck.”

“I mean…how do you not think of that, man?”

Sam shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know. I guess – I guess I don’t think of him as Lucifer anymore. Not that Lucifer. He’s not like him, really. Mine is – “

Yours?” Dean spit, looking aghast. Sam sighed.

“I’m just calling him that to differentiate from the one in the Cage,” he said impatiently. “It’s shorter than ‘the Lucifer that lives in my head.’”

Dean had crossed the room and pulled a beer out of the twelve-pack Sam had brought home.

“It’s not even noon,” Sam said before he could stop himself.

Dean glared at him as he twisted the top off and took a long pull.

“So, this is like, a habit of yours, I take it?” Dean said, after draining what looked like nearly a third of the beer.

Sam sighed. “I let him do some stuff every once in awhile. He gets bored in my head, which makes sense. So if he wants to help me with research or something, I just – ” He gestured. “I just let him drive.”

“You let him drive my car?” Dean’s voice was that dangerous calm again.

“Driving is what we call it when I let him take over,” Sam explained. And then, some stupid, defiant part of himself caused him to add, “But yeah, I let him drive drive, sometimes.”

Dean put down the beer. His face was closed off now, unreadable, the kind that meant he was really upset.

“Well, I guess I should’ve known,” he said quietly. “He always said you’d say yes to him. Just didn’t figure on it happening more than once.”

“Dean – ”

“There’s some freaky part of you that always wanted to say yes, huh, Sammy?”

Dean wasn’t looking at him, and even though he’d said ‘freaky,’ not freak, it was close enough. Anger and hurt rose in Sam’s chest, and – since he was a Winchester – anger was what showed.

“Fuck you, Dean,” he said. “I didn’t do anything wrong.”

Dean gave him one last, reproachful glance before leaving the kitchen. He left his beer on the counter (another bad sign, Sam thought, but he squashed it) and Sam dumped it out in the sink before putting away the rest of the groceries.

***

Dean didn’t come out of his room for hours. Sam walked by the door a couple times, but all he could hear was Dean playing Led Zeppelin II, over and over again.

As if he didn’t hear it enough in the car every day.

Sam was reading in the library when he finally heard Dean’s door open. He sat still, fingers clutching his book tightly, dragging his eyes blindly over the text. He didn’t look up until Dean was standing right in front of him.

Dean’s face was set. “Listen,” he said. “I know I’m not going to convince you to get rid of your little imaginary friend. But I don’t want to hear about it anymore. And I sure as hell don’t want to hear from him.”

“Nice choice of words,” Lucifer said from across the table. Sam ignored him.

“Dean, I – ” Dean turned on his heel.

“I’m going out,” he said over his shoulder. “Don’t wait up.” In a minute, he was gone, door closing firmly (not slammed) behind him.

Sam put down his book and tilted his head back, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“So much for my budding bromance with Dean,” Lucifer said.

“He knows he’s being a dick,” Sam said. “He just doesn’t want to admit he was wrong.”

“Yeah?”

“I mean, it was a mistake to spring it on him,” Sam said. “But neither of us meant for that to happen. He shouldn’t refuse to acknowledge you ever again.”

“Why?” Lucifer said. “I’m just a product of your fucked-up brain.” He disappeared.

Sam sighed and got up to find some dinner. He ate two bowls of Honey Nut Cheerios, but Lucifer didn’t reappear.

***

“I’ve been searching for the other half of the demon tablet,” Castiel said.

“Without us?” Dean demanded.

“I’ve been trying to help, Dean. And in my search, I uncovered that Crowley has sent out demons to find Lucifer’s crypts.”

“Lucifer had crypts?”

Sam looked at Dean. True to his word, Dean had been pretending that Lucifer – Sam’s Lucifer – didn’t exist. Sam thought this mention of the other Lucifer might change things, but Dean didn’t even glance his way.

“You had crypts?” Sam asked Lucifer. Lucifer shrugged.

“Sure. Why not?”

“But why the storage wars? I mean, what the hell are they all looking for?” Sam said aloud. He looked at Lucifer, too.

“You can’t expect me to remember every little thing we put in those,” Lucifer snapped. Sam rolled his eyes.

“They’re looking for a parchment that would allow them to decipher Crowley’s half of the demon tablet without a prophet,” Castiel explained.

“What? That doesn’t exist,” Lucifer said.

“You just said you don’t remember everything,” Sam pointed out.

“Yeah, well, there’s things I don’t remember, and then there are things that are just bullshit.”

“You’re just pissed you don’t know what he’s talking about,” Sam said.

“Fine, be that way. But don’t blame me when this all ends in tears.” Lucifer folded his arms over his chest and looked vaguely smug. Sam rolled his eyes again.

***

Sam moved quietly through Purgatory, knife unsheathed, trying to stay alert in case a Leviathan or other monster showed up.

“Here we see the moose in its natural habitat,” Lucifer said quietly, in a British accent. He was walking half a step behind Sam. “This sneaky moose is attempting to tiptoe through the brush, because he thinks he’s a goddamn ninja, when he is, in fact, a giant fucking moose.”

“Thanks, that’s helpful,” Sam said.

“This place sucks, huh? I don’t know how your brother managed a year here without opening his wrists just to see color.” Lucifer picked up a stick and examined it, then threw it down in disgust. “Time sure hasn’t improved it, I can tell you that much.”

“When were you here?” Sam asked.

“My dad took me.” Lucifer grimaced. “When he was building the craphole.”

“You know,” Sam said casually. “You like to make fun of me and Dean for our father issues, but you - “

“Shut your mouth, Winchester,” Lucifer said. Sam stepped on a branch and was suddenly attacked by a monster neither he nor Lucifer had seen coming. Lucifer watched with a bored expression as Sam fought and quickly beheaded it.

“See?” Lucifer said, when he was done. “Sucks. That thing barely put up a fight.”

“It put up enough of one for me,” Sam said.

“Yeah, well, you didn’t have to watch it.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Come on, I think it’s down here.” They kept going, and a moment later they found the place Ajay had described. Sam pulled away a large stone and gaped at the tunnel opening.

“It’s a rabbit hole,” he said. “This is nuts.”

“You’re talking to me out loud again,” Lucifer pointed out. “I think we should consider the possibility that you’re nuts.”

Sam stepped inside, Lucifer following closely behind him. Lucifer took a deep, satisfied breath.

“Smell that sweet, sulfurous air!” he said heartily. “Home sweet home!”

Sam coughed, making a face. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

He took off his watch and put it on a nearby ledge.

“What did you do that for?” Lucifer demanded.

“So we can find the exit again.”

“Don’t we need to know what time it is? So we can meet the Reaper?”

“This shouldn’t take that long,” Sam rationalized. “This is probably the way he brought in Bobby. So maybe he’s nearby.”

“You think Crowley just stuck him in the closest cell?”

Sam shrugged. “Anyway, I need to leave something and all I’ve got is my watch and my weapons. And I’m definitely not leaving those.” He looked around. “Okay, which way?”

Lucifer raised an eyebrow. “You want directions?”

“Yeah. Do you remember your way around?”

Lucifer pursed his lips. “I guess so.” He pointed. “I’m pretty sure we kept the higher-profile prisoners down thataway. Actually, you might have been right, for once. I think they’re pretty close.”

“Great,” Sam said, and they set off down the corridor.

***

Hours later, they were hopelessly lost. Sam had been able to dispatch the couple demons they’d run across with only a few scratches and bruises to show for it. But they hadn’t found Bobby.

“I can’t believe we’ve been able to wander around here for so long and only seen two demons,” Lucifer grumbled. “This place has really gone to hell during Crowley’s rule.” He smirked expectantly at Sam, who ignored him. “I miss Azazel. He knew how to run things.”

Sam glared darkly at him and Lucifer held up his hands.

“All right, all right, I know you two had your differences – ”

“Had our differences? He murdered my parents and my girlfriend!”

“It’s not like I don’t see your point,” Lucifer said. “But believe me, it’s hard to find good help. You can’t blame me for appreciating his competency.”

“I thought you said you knew where you were going,” Sam spat out.

Lucifer spread his hands. “I was trapped in the Cage! What do want from me? I saw some floor plans when we were building the place, but that was a long time ago.”

Sam was looking around, still frowning. “This looks…” He trailed off, catching sight of something. He crossed the corridor and grabbed his watch up off a ledge. “Fuck!”

“Hey, great,” Lucifer said. “We found our way back.”

“We don’t need to find our way back,” Sam said. “We need to find our way to Bobby. And now we’re almost out of time.”

“Chill out, I’m sure your grumpy, bearded second daddy is close,” Lucifer said. “We’ll just go the other way.”

Sam stomped off down the hall in the opposite direction they’d taken when they first arrived, muttering under his breath.

“This is looking more like it,” Lucifer said, as they passed a few cells with people in them. In one, they finally spotted a figure in a leather jacket and cap. Sam opened the cell door.

“They aren’t even locking him in?” Lucifer said incredulously. “What the fuck is wrong with Crowley?”

“Bobby?” Sam said aloud.

“Oh, I can tell this is going to be heartwarming,” Lucifer said. “I’m out of here.” He disappeared.

***

Sam woke up slowly, from what felt like a long way away. His mouth was dry and his head was pounding.

“Well, you look like you’ve been hit by a truck,” Lucifer observed. He was sitting backwards on a chair a few feet away from Sam’s bed.

“I feel like it,” Sam mumbled, sitting up carefully. He rubbed his eyes, fighting nausea. It passed and he swung his feet over to the floor. The movement made him dizzy and he shut his eyes till the room stopped spinning.

“This is only going to get worse, you know,” Lucifer said.

“Thanks, that’s really helpful.”

“Second of two trials. Third’s going to be a doozy, I’m betting.”

“Don’t you know?”

Lucifer shook his head.

“I really need to pee,” Sam said.

Lucifer waited. Sam didn’t move.

“If you wet the bed, I’m never going to let you forget it,” Lucifer warned him.

Sam grimaced. “I hurt too much to stand up.”

“Come on,” Lucifer urged him. “I did way worse stuff to you when we were in the Cage. You can take it.”

Sam rubbed his temples, groaning.

Lucifer sighed deeply, looking disgusted. “All right. Shove over, I’m driving.”

“Dude, you’re not going to piss for me!”

“It’s that or you piss the bed. Seriously, I won’t let ever it go. I’ll even tell Dean. You’re probably too out of it to stop me from talking to him.”

“What makes you think you’ll even feel any better than I do?”

“I have before.”

“Yeah, when I was kind of tired. This is – ”

“Let’s just give it a try,” Lucifer said impatiently. “I don’t want to sit here arguing with you all day.”

After a moment, Sam sighed, and nodded reluctantly.

Lucifer took control, and stood up carefully. The body swayed, and he grabbed the chair for support.

“Ugh, it’s even worse from here,” he muttered. After a second he released the chair and slowly started to get them dressed.

Sam had collapsed onto the bed again, eyes closed.

“Why does this even work?” he said.

“Oh, not this again.”

“Well – ”

“Look, it still hurts, Sam. It makes me feel like shit, and I’m not going to be wearing your meatsuit to run any marathons, okay? But it’s not my pain.”

“So you’re…kind of at a remove? You can ignore it better than I can, because it’s not yours. Do you think?”

“Sure, whatever.”

Sam lapsed into silence, and watched as Lucifer finished dressing them, then headed to the bathroom. After he had emptied Sam’s bladder (cringing the whole time) and brushed Sam’s teeth, they headed towards the main room.

“I’d better take over again,” Sam said.

“Yeah.” Lucifer stepped back and clapped Sam on the shoulder. “Good luck, kid.”

***

Lucifer drove frequently for the next couple weeks, taking over when Sam was alone or during long, quiet hours in the car. Eventually they discovered that if he stayed in control too long, he would start to the feel the effects of the trials. Sam would push him away, and Lucifer would pass out for a couple hours. He was fine once he got back, but Sam became reluctant to let him drive. He started saying no more often, and forcing him away after shorter periods of time.

“Seriously, Sammy, your concern is touching, but I can obviously shake this off after awhile,” Lucifer said.

“That’s not it,” Sam said. “I just don’t need you to do it so much.”

“Hey asshole, I know you’re not feeling any better,” Lucifer said. “Stop being so damn stubborn.”

Sam just shook his head.

“You’re also getting withdrawn and moody. Don’t think I don’t see it.”

“Fuck off,” Sam snapped.

Lucifer folded his arms and glared at him. “Fine. Fuck you.” He disappeared.

Sam sighed wearily.

***

Crowley sat quietly in the chair as Sam picked up the book to read the purifying incantation one last time.

“I think you should take a pause on this,” Lucifer said. “You look like death. And I mean compared to how you’ve looked the last few weeks.” He paused. “Actually, you’ve met Death, right? He generally looks a lot healthier than you do right now.”

“I’m doing this,” Sam said.

“Sam – ”

Sam read the Latin and sliced open his palm. He walked towards Crowley and was about to place his hand on him when Dean burst into the church.

“Sammy, stop!” he shouted.

Sam looked up, bewildered, as Dean approached him slowly.

“Easy there. Okay. Just take it easy. We got a slight change of plan.”

“What?” Sam demanded. “What’s going on? Where’s Cas?”

“Metatron lied. You finish this trial, you’re dead, Sam.”

“I fucking knew it,” Lucifer muttered.

Sam stared at Dean. “So?”

Lucifer whirled on him. “So? What the fuck do you mean, so?!”

“Look at him!” Sam said, pointing to Crowley. “Look at him! Look at how close we are! Other people will die if I don’t finish this!”

“You and your fucking martyr complex!” Lucifer shouted.

“Think about it,” Dean said. “Think about what we know, huh? Pulling souls from Hell, curing demons, ganking a hellhound! We have enough knowledge on our side to turn the tide here. But I can’t do it without you.”

“You can barely do it with me. I mean, you think I screw up everything I try! You think I need a chaperone, remember?”

“Come on, man,” Dean said quietly. “That’s not what I meant.”

Sam started to shake his head, but stopped suddenly. His posture changed as Lucifer took over.

“Don’t you dare get suicidal on me, you stupid fucking moose!” Lucifer shouted aloud. Dean looked confused for a split second, but understanding quickly dawned on his face.

“You are not going out like this,” Lucifer continued. “You’re not going to kill yourself on my Father’s whims. You stop this stupid trial and you stop it now.”

“Yeah, listen to Satan,” Dean said. He blinked a couple times and shook his head. “God damn it our lives are weird.” His eyes met Sam’s – Lucifer’s – and he nodded shortly. “Thanks for having my back.”

“Don’t you fucking let him do this,” Lucifer said. Dean almost smiled.

“Right back atcha.” Lucifer nodded.

Sam’s shoulders slumped as Lucifer pulled back.

Sam squeezed his hand tightly, blood dripping onto the floor. “How do I stop?” he asked.

“Just let it go,” Dean said.

“I can’t,” Sam said. “It’s in me, Dean. You don’t know what this feels like.”

“Hey, listen, we will figure it out, okay?” Dean bandaged Sam’s hand quickly. “Just like we always do. This time we’ve even got the devil on our side. Come on.”

Sam made it a few steps outside the church, but then fell to the ground by the Impala. He groaned in pain.

“Sam?” Dean said frantically. He looked up. “Cas? Castiel? Where the hell are you?”

“What’s happening?” Sam wheezed. He looked up to see Lucifer staring into the sky.

“Well,” Lucifer said. “This is…disturbingly familiar.”

Sam followed his gaze. The three of them watched the angels fall in silence.

Date: 2013-10-02 01:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vincentursus.livejournal.com
I disagree with Sam. I think it is still possession with consent.

Nice character piece.

Date: 2013-10-02 01:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ellerkay.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! :D

Date: 2013-10-02 05:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] justayooper.livejournal.com
Unique read, I really enjoyed it. I especially liked the little part where Lucifer was pretending to be a wildlife narrator when Sam was trying to sneak around in Purgatory. Too funny! Thanks for sharing!

Date: 2013-10-09 04:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ellerkay.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! I liked writing the wildlife narrator bit, too. :) It always looks to me like Sam's trying to tiptoe through Purgatory in that scene and it cracks me up because he's ENORMOUS.

I'm glad you enjoyed reading this, and thank you VERY much for commenting!

Date: 2013-10-02 06:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trojan-seeress.livejournal.com
This was amazing! I like the development of Lucifer's character, it was really well done :^)

Good job!

Date: 2013-10-09 04:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ellerkay.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! I'm glad it came across well; I wanted him to develop, but slowly enough that it wasn't ridiculous and in such a way that he didn't seem OOC. There were moments that were a struggle; I have a tendency to woobify. :P

Thank you for commenting!

Date: 2013-10-02 03:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jasmineisland.livejournal.com
The "Lucifer" in Sam's head was SO creepy, yet hilarious.
Freakin' loved this. Arguing with Dean as Sam/Samifer had me cracking up. Schizophrenic much, Moose?

Date: 2013-10-09 04:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ellerkay.livejournal.com
I think "creepy yet hilarious" is a good way to describe Hallucifer in general. :P

Thank you so much for taking the time to comment! I'm really glad you enjoyed reading the story.

Date: 2013-10-03 02:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] inkahootz.livejournal.com
Bravo! Great fanfic! Lucifer was so funny in so many places. And yay for Sam needing PARSLEY!!! LOLZ!! This was a great read, thanks for sharing! Are you going to continue it after more episodes air? <3333

Date: 2013-10-09 04:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ellerkay.livejournal.com
Ahahaha I knew you'd be like the only person to get the parsley reference! I'm so glad you caught it, and that you liked the fic!

I haven't decided whether I'll do more yet. I might have an idea for a scene or two from S8 that wasn't worth including in this but could be sort of a bonus thing. The stuff that's happened in season 9 (which I won't talk about since I'm not 100% percent sure you've seen it yet) certainly presents some interesting possible material to work with...

Thanks for reading & commenting hon. <3333

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