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Masterpost: Shoulder Angel
Title: Shoulder Angel
Genre: Gen
Rating: Teen/PG-13
Word Count: 830
Disclaimer: All for fun, none for profit.
Summary: It would be nice, Castiel thought, if on just one occasion he could understand what was going on.
Warnings/tags: Humor, crack
A/N: Written for the Halloween Micro Reverse Bang on![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
spn_bigpretzel! Huge thanks to the mods and to the wonderful artist, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
amberdreams. Thank you for the amazing art prompt! (Note 2: I physically could not resist making Emperor's New Groove references in this story. I tried; I simply couldn't.)
Art Post: LJ
Story also on AO3
***
It would be nice, Castiel thought, if on just one occasion he could understand what was going on.
“Hey. Hey,” said a tiny, naked, be-horned Dean sitting on Castiel’s right shoulder. He tugged Castiel’s earlobe. “Got any pie?” He poked Castiel in the neck with his pointed tail.
“What are you doing?” Castiel said in bewilderment. “How did this happen?”
“Well, I’m your shoulder angel,” Sam said confidently from Castiel’s left shoulder. He was mostly naked, too, but at least he had some cloth artfully draped over his groin. He also had wings, and a harp, which he was strumming melodiously.
“I’m already an angel,” Castiel said.
“BOO,” said Dean, lightly kicking Castiel’s jaw. “Let me tell you how to live a life that rocks. First – pie. Next – burgers. Then, more pie. Put on some Led Zeppelin and we’ll head to a bar. I’ll teach you everything you need to know.”
“Dean, honestly,” Sam said, sounding mildly disapproving. “Castiel, don’t listen to him. To lead a righteous life, you should eat salads and read true crime books.”
Dean acted like Sam hadn’t spoken. “Oh, and also: check this out.” He sprang to his feet and raised his arms over his head, jumping up and down so his junk slapped against his legs. “PUDDING!!”
Castiel frowned. “I don’t understand what – ”
“No, no,” Sam interrupted. “He’s got a point.”
“You two are behaving very strangely,” Castiel said.
Sam’s brow furrowed. “Things do seem a little off,” he admitted. “I don’t remember learning to play the harp.”
“Whoa, and I haven’t been a demon in a long time,” Dean said. “What’s going – ”
Castiel’s vision shimmered. The world dissolved and abruptly he found himself in an armchair in the bunker, his head jerking up as though he’d fallen asleep. But he didn’t sleep. He’d only sat down to contemplate the nature of reality for a few minutes while the Winchesters took their nightly rest.
He heard pounding feet coming down the hallway. Sam and Dean, who were their normal, overlarge sizes again, burst into the room. Dean was wearing his robe and nothing underneath, or so it appeared. His horns were gone, along with – Castiel hoped – his tail. Sam’s wings had disappeared, but he still held a harp and he was still naked save for the cloth around his waist, just barely preserving his modesty.
“Cas? Are you okay?” Sam asked.
“Fine,” Castiel said. “And you?”
“We’re fine, except for – what the hell was that?” Dean demanded.
“Trick or treat,” came a sing-song voice from the map room. Castiel, Sam, and Dean turned to see Gabriel descend the last few stairs and strike a pose at the bottom. He wiggled his eyebrows at them.
Dean’s face twisted in anger. “I’m getting my gun,” he said, turning to go.
Sam grabbed his arm. “Dean, don’t,” he said soothingly. “It’ll only piss him off. Get an angel blade.”
“Aw, come on, fellas – where’s your Halloween spirit?” Gabriel drawled. “The trick’s complete! Now give me a treat.”
“You’re not the Trickster anymore, Gabriel,” Castiel said.
“Aren’t I?” Gabriel smirked. “Just because the cat’s out of the bag on my real identity doesn’t mean my charming, roguish sense of humor had to fall by the wayside!”
“You are such a dick,” Dean snapped. “Get out of here.”
“Not without my treat.”
“It’s trick or treat,” Sam pointed out. “You tricked us without even giving us a chance to pay you off with a treat.”
Gabriel shrugged, still smiling in that infuriating way. “What can I say? I’m a prankster.”
“If we give you candy, will you go away?” Dean asked.
“Mmmmm…yes,” Gabriel agreed.
“Fine.” Dean reached into his robe pocket and came out with a fistful of miniature candy bars. He lobbed them at Gabriel. Despite his messy throw, they formed into a perfect arc as they flew through the air and landed neatly in Gabriel’s outstretched, cupped hands.
“Thanks!” Gabriel said cheerfully. “Happy Halloween, kids. Laters.” He snapped his fingers and disappeared.
“So glad he’s still alive,” Dean said, voice dripping with sarcasm.
Sam was staring at him, nose wrinkled. “Do you always keep candy in your robe?”
“Yeah, of course I do,” Dean replied, in a tone which implied that this was a ridiculous question. “What if I need a midnight snack?”
Sam rolled his eyes. He and Dean both nodded to Cas and started heading back to their rooms. “That’s really gross, Dean,” Sam said.
“At least I’m decent, you pervert.”
“This is Gabriel’s fault and you know it!”
Castiel smiled slightly as he listened to the Winchesters’ voices grow fainter. He thought about how different Sam and Dean’s natures were, and how different they were from his own. Yet somehow, they all managed to come together when the world demanded it. He was grateful for that.
After a moment, Castiel rose from the armchair. He’d had enough deep thoughts for the night. He would spend the rest of it contemplating a Netflix program.
Genre: Gen
Rating: Teen/PG-13
Word Count: 830
Disclaimer: All for fun, none for profit.
Summary: It would be nice, Castiel thought, if on just one occasion he could understand what was going on.
Warnings/tags: Humor, crack
A/N: Written for the Halloween Micro Reverse Bang on
spn_bigpretzel! Huge thanks to the mods and to the wonderful artist, amberdreams. Thank you for the amazing art prompt! (Note 2: I physically could not resist making Emperor's New Groove references in this story. I tried; I simply couldn't.)Art Post: LJ
Story also on AO3
***
It would be nice, Castiel thought, if on just one occasion he could understand what was going on.
“Hey. Hey,” said a tiny, naked, be-horned Dean sitting on Castiel’s right shoulder. He tugged Castiel’s earlobe. “Got any pie?” He poked Castiel in the neck with his pointed tail.
“What are you doing?” Castiel said in bewilderment. “How did this happen?”
“Well, I’m your shoulder angel,” Sam said confidently from Castiel’s left shoulder. He was mostly naked, too, but at least he had some cloth artfully draped over his groin. He also had wings, and a harp, which he was strumming melodiously.
“I’m already an angel,” Castiel said.
“BOO,” said Dean, lightly kicking Castiel’s jaw. “Let me tell you how to live a life that rocks. First – pie. Next – burgers. Then, more pie. Put on some Led Zeppelin and we’ll head to a bar. I’ll teach you everything you need to know.”
“Dean, honestly,” Sam said, sounding mildly disapproving. “Castiel, don’t listen to him. To lead a righteous life, you should eat salads and read true crime books.”
Dean acted like Sam hadn’t spoken. “Oh, and also: check this out.” He sprang to his feet and raised his arms over his head, jumping up and down so his junk slapped against his legs. “PUDDING!!”
Castiel frowned. “I don’t understand what – ”
“No, no,” Sam interrupted. “He’s got a point.”
“You two are behaving very strangely,” Castiel said.
Sam’s brow furrowed. “Things do seem a little off,” he admitted. “I don’t remember learning to play the harp.”
“Whoa, and I haven’t been a demon in a long time,” Dean said. “What’s going – ”
Castiel’s vision shimmered. The world dissolved and abruptly he found himself in an armchair in the bunker, his head jerking up as though he’d fallen asleep. But he didn’t sleep. He’d only sat down to contemplate the nature of reality for a few minutes while the Winchesters took their nightly rest.
He heard pounding feet coming down the hallway. Sam and Dean, who were their normal, overlarge sizes again, burst into the room. Dean was wearing his robe and nothing underneath, or so it appeared. His horns were gone, along with – Castiel hoped – his tail. Sam’s wings had disappeared, but he still held a harp and he was still naked save for the cloth around his waist, just barely preserving his modesty.
“Cas? Are you okay?” Sam asked.
“Fine,” Castiel said. “And you?”
“We’re fine, except for – what the hell was that?” Dean demanded.
“Trick or treat,” came a sing-song voice from the map room. Castiel, Sam, and Dean turned to see Gabriel descend the last few stairs and strike a pose at the bottom. He wiggled his eyebrows at them.
Dean’s face twisted in anger. “I’m getting my gun,” he said, turning to go.
Sam grabbed his arm. “Dean, don’t,” he said soothingly. “It’ll only piss him off. Get an angel blade.”
“Aw, come on, fellas – where’s your Halloween spirit?” Gabriel drawled. “The trick’s complete! Now give me a treat.”
“You’re not the Trickster anymore, Gabriel,” Castiel said.
“Aren’t I?” Gabriel smirked. “Just because the cat’s out of the bag on my real identity doesn’t mean my charming, roguish sense of humor had to fall by the wayside!”
“You are such a dick,” Dean snapped. “Get out of here.”
“Not without my treat.”
“It’s trick or treat,” Sam pointed out. “You tricked us without even giving us a chance to pay you off with a treat.”
Gabriel shrugged, still smiling in that infuriating way. “What can I say? I’m a prankster.”
“If we give you candy, will you go away?” Dean asked.
“Mmmmm…yes,” Gabriel agreed.
“Fine.” Dean reached into his robe pocket and came out with a fistful of miniature candy bars. He lobbed them at Gabriel. Despite his messy throw, they formed into a perfect arc as they flew through the air and landed neatly in Gabriel’s outstretched, cupped hands.
“Thanks!” Gabriel said cheerfully. “Happy Halloween, kids. Laters.” He snapped his fingers and disappeared.
“So glad he’s still alive,” Dean said, voice dripping with sarcasm.
Sam was staring at him, nose wrinkled. “Do you always keep candy in your robe?”
“Yeah, of course I do,” Dean replied, in a tone which implied that this was a ridiculous question. “What if I need a midnight snack?”
Sam rolled his eyes. He and Dean both nodded to Cas and started heading back to their rooms. “That’s really gross, Dean,” Sam said.
“At least I’m decent, you pervert.”
“This is Gabriel’s fault and you know it!”
Castiel smiled slightly as he listened to the Winchesters’ voices grow fainter. He thought about how different Sam and Dean’s natures were, and how different they were from his own. Yet somehow, they all managed to come together when the world demanded it. He was grateful for that.
After a moment, Castiel rose from the armchair. He’d had enough deep thoughts for the night. He would spend the rest of it contemplating a Netflix program.