(no subject)
May. 1st, 2009 05:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ellerkayTitle: Wrapped in a Cocoon
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ellerkay (previously published under collectively)
Challenger:bleemoo
Challenge: “Jordan paired with either Dream, Del, or both - "I'm not even supposed to be here today!"”
Fandoms: Scrubs and Sandman
Word Count: 886
Summary: Jordan has a strange day.
A/N: The title is a reference to the following exchange:
Carla: “You can deny you like her all you want. But, I know for a fact, that every time you guys are done playing racquetball or having a conversation or whatever it is you crazy kids are calling it, you like nothing more than to just lie next to Jordan and watch her sleep.”
Dr. Cox: “It would be impossible for me to lie next to Jordan. She sleeps hanging from a ramp in the ceiling, wrapped in a cocoon of her own wings.”
“Bob. Look at me. I am as big as a house. I am so hormonal I could rip out your eyeballs right now and eat them in front of your son. Besides, I’m not even supposed to be here today! Now are you going to let me go home?”
Instead of replying, Dr. Kelso turned into a giant frog and hopped silently away. Jordan sighed. “So it’s going to be one of those days,” she muttered. “All right, now what did I do with the damn baby?”
Though she was still pregnant, Jordan had been carrying her baby in her arms all morning. Now, however, she seemed to have misplaced her. The thought made her vaguely anxious, but also rather annoyed. “If only I could remember what we named her. Perry, how old does a baby have to be before you can train them to come when you call?”
“That’s…dogs, Jordan, you train dogs. You teach children. Well, you don’t. Our overpriced, unattractive nanny teaches them. My god, could you at least pretend to care about your children?”
“I do care, Perry, and at least I don’t spend all my time –” Jordan started to turn to Perry, only to discover he had never been next to her in the first place.
“Fine,” she said. “I’ll find little what’s-her-name myself.” She strode off down the hall, at a surprisingly rapid pace despite the eight and a half months she’d spent pregnant so far. Eventually she realized that she was actually moving quite slowly; it was the hospital that was rushing quickly past her. When she paused to rest the hospital only whirled faster and then suddenly disappeared.
“What the fuck is this?!”
Jordan was on a grassy hilltop. The air was warm but the sky was overcast. In the distance she could see purple mountains, only they weren’t the sort of purple mountains normally look like, but instead a violent shade of fuchsia.
Several yards away there was a very tall man with white skin and black hair, wrapped in a fluttering black cloak. Jordan rolled her eyes but, seeing no one else nearby, walked towards him.
“Excuse me,” she shouted. “You, goth kid!” The man turned slowly and Jordan stopped short a few feet away. “Oh, nice contacts,” she snorted. “I’m sure you drive all the girls wild down at the Vampire Club. Listen, have you seen a hospital? Sacred Heart? It was here about two seconds ago.”
“I apologize, but that hospital was structurally unsound. Someone has been accessing it from the waking world, projecting elaborate fantasies into it. It was unsafe. It had to be demolished.”
“Oh, well, that’s just great,” Jordan said. “My new stupid baby was in there. How am I going to find her now?”
“You needn’t be alarmed. Your baby is yet unborn.”
“Well, thank you, what a genius you must be considered by your fellow, pitchfork-wielding Transylvanians. Look at me! I’m ridiculously enormous. My feet are the size of watermelons and my breasts –” Jordan stopped short and frowned. Things were starting to make a sort of sense. “Did you say something about the waking world?”
“I did.”
“Which would make this –”
“The Dreaming.”
“And who the hell are you? Besides the deformed love-child of Dracula and Edgar Allan Poe, I mean.”
“I am Morpheus.” Jordan looked blank. “I rule here.”
“Well, at least my subconscious isn’t so crazed that it imagined you all on its own.” Jordan sighed. “Can I wake up now? I think I need to pee.”
“Then I am certain you will waken soon naturally.”
“Then for god’s sake pull me up a chair or something. What’s the matter with you? Haven’t you ever seen a pregnant woman? Well, I suppose it would make some sense; it doesn’t look like you’ve ever seen sunlight, so…”
“Yes, it was rude of me not to do so. My apologies.” Morpheus waved his hand and a large, cushy chair upholstered in wine-red velvet appeared behind Jordan. As she awkwardly lowered herself into it, he offered her his hand, which she waved away.
“I don’t think so. Your fingers are about ten inches long; what, did you play in a toxic waste dump as a child? Come to think of it, warped DNA would explain a lot about your fashion sense.” Jordan finally succeeded in seating herself.
Morpheus regarded her silently for a moment, black eyes unreadable. “You know,” he said, in a slightly wistful tone, “I am not even supposed to be here today. I was meant to go visit some friends.”
“Yeah,” Jordan said. “I had the same problem, till you got rid of the hospital for me. Which, now that I know my child isn’t trapped in there, was really very nice of you – I wish I had some way to repay you.” She thought for a moment, then shook her head. “Nothing’s coming to me, but hey, if I see Buffy the Vampire Slayer around anywhere, I’ll warn you.”
“That will not be –” Jordan woke up. She did need to pee, and she climbed out of bed with some difficulty.
“All right, from now on, I don’t care how much I want it. I am not eating peanut butter and pickles right before I take a nap,” she muttered.
***
A/N: I have no really good reason Dream would confide even a random little thing to a woman who was being so rude to him, but I found the idea of him saying that line too hilarious to pass up. Put it down to his being perhaps a little overawed by her, which I think he sometimes is by aggressive women. Or he didn’t mind saying something to a dreamer he knew probably wouldn’t remember or make anything of it if she did.
Author:
ellerkay (previously published under collectively)Challenger:
bleemooChallenge: “Jordan paired with either Dream, Del, or both - "I'm not even supposed to be here today!"”
Fandoms: Scrubs and Sandman
Word Count: 886
Summary: Jordan has a strange day.
A/N: The title is a reference to the following exchange:
Carla: “You can deny you like her all you want. But, I know for a fact, that every time you guys are done playing racquetball or having a conversation or whatever it is you crazy kids are calling it, you like nothing more than to just lie next to Jordan and watch her sleep.”
Dr. Cox: “It would be impossible for me to lie next to Jordan. She sleeps hanging from a ramp in the ceiling, wrapped in a cocoon of her own wings.”
“Bob. Look at me. I am as big as a house. I am so hormonal I could rip out your eyeballs right now and eat them in front of your son. Besides, I’m not even supposed to be here today! Now are you going to let me go home?”
Instead of replying, Dr. Kelso turned into a giant frog and hopped silently away. Jordan sighed. “So it’s going to be one of those days,” she muttered. “All right, now what did I do with the damn baby?”
Though she was still pregnant, Jordan had been carrying her baby in her arms all morning. Now, however, she seemed to have misplaced her. The thought made her vaguely anxious, but also rather annoyed. “If only I could remember what we named her. Perry, how old does a baby have to be before you can train them to come when you call?”
“That’s…dogs, Jordan, you train dogs. You teach children. Well, you don’t. Our overpriced, unattractive nanny teaches them. My god, could you at least pretend to care about your children?”
“I do care, Perry, and at least I don’t spend all my time –” Jordan started to turn to Perry, only to discover he had never been next to her in the first place.
“Fine,” she said. “I’ll find little what’s-her-name myself.” She strode off down the hall, at a surprisingly rapid pace despite the eight and a half months she’d spent pregnant so far. Eventually she realized that she was actually moving quite slowly; it was the hospital that was rushing quickly past her. When she paused to rest the hospital only whirled faster and then suddenly disappeared.
“What the fuck is this?!”
Jordan was on a grassy hilltop. The air was warm but the sky was overcast. In the distance she could see purple mountains, only they weren’t the sort of purple mountains normally look like, but instead a violent shade of fuchsia.
Several yards away there was a very tall man with white skin and black hair, wrapped in a fluttering black cloak. Jordan rolled her eyes but, seeing no one else nearby, walked towards him.
“Excuse me,” she shouted. “You, goth kid!” The man turned slowly and Jordan stopped short a few feet away. “Oh, nice contacts,” she snorted. “I’m sure you drive all the girls wild down at the Vampire Club. Listen, have you seen a hospital? Sacred Heart? It was here about two seconds ago.”
“I apologize, but that hospital was structurally unsound. Someone has been accessing it from the waking world, projecting elaborate fantasies into it. It was unsafe. It had to be demolished.”
“Oh, well, that’s just great,” Jordan said. “My new stupid baby was in there. How am I going to find her now?”
“You needn’t be alarmed. Your baby is yet unborn.”
“Well, thank you, what a genius you must be considered by your fellow, pitchfork-wielding Transylvanians. Look at me! I’m ridiculously enormous. My feet are the size of watermelons and my breasts –” Jordan stopped short and frowned. Things were starting to make a sort of sense. “Did you say something about the waking world?”
“I did.”
“Which would make this –”
“The Dreaming.”
“And who the hell are you? Besides the deformed love-child of Dracula and Edgar Allan Poe, I mean.”
“I am Morpheus.” Jordan looked blank. “I rule here.”
“Well, at least my subconscious isn’t so crazed that it imagined you all on its own.” Jordan sighed. “Can I wake up now? I think I need to pee.”
“Then I am certain you will waken soon naturally.”
“Then for god’s sake pull me up a chair or something. What’s the matter with you? Haven’t you ever seen a pregnant woman? Well, I suppose it would make some sense; it doesn’t look like you’ve ever seen sunlight, so…”
“Yes, it was rude of me not to do so. My apologies.” Morpheus waved his hand and a large, cushy chair upholstered in wine-red velvet appeared behind Jordan. As she awkwardly lowered herself into it, he offered her his hand, which she waved away.
“I don’t think so. Your fingers are about ten inches long; what, did you play in a toxic waste dump as a child? Come to think of it, warped DNA would explain a lot about your fashion sense.” Jordan finally succeeded in seating herself.
Morpheus regarded her silently for a moment, black eyes unreadable. “You know,” he said, in a slightly wistful tone, “I am not even supposed to be here today. I was meant to go visit some friends.”
“Yeah,” Jordan said. “I had the same problem, till you got rid of the hospital for me. Which, now that I know my child isn’t trapped in there, was really very nice of you – I wish I had some way to repay you.” She thought for a moment, then shook her head. “Nothing’s coming to me, but hey, if I see Buffy the Vampire Slayer around anywhere, I’ll warn you.”
“That will not be –” Jordan woke up. She did need to pee, and she climbed out of bed with some difficulty.
“All right, from now on, I don’t care how much I want it. I am not eating peanut butter and pickles right before I take a nap,” she muttered.
***
A/N: I have no really good reason Dream would confide even a random little thing to a woman who was being so rude to him, but I found the idea of him saying that line too hilarious to pass up. Put it down to his being perhaps a little overawed by her, which I think he sometimes is by aggressive women. Or he didn’t mind saying something to a dreamer he knew probably wouldn’t remember or make anything of it if she did.
