Fic: Hobbies
Apr. 22nd, 2019 08:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ellerkayTitle: Hobbies
Pairing: Castiel/Sam/Dean
Characters: Sam, Dean, Jody, Cas
Rating: Teen/PG-13
Word Count: 928
Disclaimer: All for fun, none for profit.
Summary: Sam and Dean introduce Jody to Castiel, who is newly their boyfriend. Jody is very Jody about it.
Warnings/tags: Sibling incest, humor, polyamory
A/N: Written for the SPN Poly Bingo, the Meet the Family square. I thought this was going to be more on the heartfelt side, but Jody highjacked it and turned it into a comedy. Also, please ignore the way the timeline doesn't really work with Cas having his wings at this point. *handwave handwave*
Read on AO3
***
“So, uh…” Dean cast a helpless, wide-eyed glance at Sam.
“We’ve been wanting to talk to you about something,” Sam said.
Jody raised her eyebrows. “Shoot,” she said. “You know you boys can tell me anything. Dean, stop looking at me like I’m going to slap your palm with a ruler!” Dean looked down and away, embarrassed.
Jody sighed. “Hell, you two told me about your relationship and I didn’t freak out. Doesn’t that earn me some trust?!”
“Okay, okay, calm down!” Dean said gruffly.
“I am calm!” Jody exhaled loudly through her nose and took a swig of beer.
“It’s sort of about our relationship,” Sam said.
“Is one of you pregnant?” Jody asked calmly. Dean choked on his beer and coughed as Sam pounded on his back. Jody grinned evilly.
“What the hell!” Dean spluttered.
Jody shrugged. “I don’t know what kind of magic you might have gotten yourself mixed up with!”
Dean glared at her. “Nobody is pregnant!”
“Great,” Jody said serenely. “Now that you don’t seem to think I’m going to bite your head off, maybe one of you can tell me what’s up.”
“We have a boyfriend,” Sam said. “Have you ever heard of polyamory?”
“Sure,” Jody said. “I heard a story on NPR about a thruple.”
“We kind of prefer triad,” Sam said. “But that’s just personal vocabulary choice. It’s the same thing.”
“Who’s the lucky fellow?” Jody asked.
“Castiel,” Dean said. Jody’s eyebrows drew together and she put her beer down.
“Oh,” she said.
“We don’t know what you’ve heard about him from Claire,” Sam said hesitantly.
“Claire’s had some choice words,” Jody admitted. “But she seems to be in a pretty good place with him nowadays.” She sucked her teeth. “I just hope he’s good enough for you boys.”
“What?!” Dean said incredulously.
“I mean – he’s an angel,” Sam said.
“Sure, but from what I understand, a lot of angels are assholes,” Jody said. She held up a hand as she saw them open their mouths to protest. “Now, I’m sure he’s better than most. But I’d like a chance to judge for myself. When can I meet him?”
Sam and Dean exchanged glances.
“Well – tonight, if you want,” Sam said hesitantly. “We were going to see if we could bring him over, but then we realized we hadn’t gotten a chance to tell you about our relationship yet, so we didn’t want to spring it on you with him in the room.”
“Do you have him waiting in the car?” Jody asked curiously, craning her neck to look out the window at the Impala, which was parked in the driveway.
Sam grinned. “No, but we pray to him, and if he’s available, he can be here instantly.”
“Well, go on then!” Jody said, gesturing expansively. “No time like the present.”
Sam shut his eyes. “Hey, Cas, it’s me,” he said. “Jody said she’d like to meet you, so if you’re not – ”
“Hello,” came a voice from the corner of the room. Jody’s head whipped around.
“You weren’t kidding about instantly,” she said, looking Castiel up and down. “Well, he’s handsome, all right. And clearly punctual.”
“Hello,” Castiel said again, walking towards Jody with his hand extended awkwardly.
“Jody Mills,” Jody said, taking his hand and shaking it firmly.
“I am Castiel,” Castiel said. “An angel of the Lord.”
Jody gave a slow nod and glanced at the Winchesters. “Does he always say that when he meets a new person?”
“Every friggin’ time,” Dean said.
Castiel glanced between Jody and Dean, looking puzzled. “It’s true. That is what I am.”
“Sure, but I don’t introduce myself as a human every time I meet someone,” Jody said.
“But the default assumption is that you are a human,” Castiel replied. “I look like a human, but I am not one.”
“Huh,” Jody said thoughtfully. “You have a point.” She patted the sofa cushion next to her. “Sit down. Tell me all about yourself.”
Castiel sat gingerly, like he was afraid the couch would blow up if he wasn’t careful. “I was created not long after the formation of the universe,” he started. Jody held up a hand.
“I’m gonna stop you right there,” she said. “I don’t need a blow-by-blow account. Just, you know, say a little about yourself.”
Castiel stared blankly at her, and she sighed.
“Do you have any hobbies?” she prompted him.
Castiel looked at Sam.
“He likes Netflix,” Sam supplied.
“Netflix isn’t a hobby, and I was asking Castiel, not you,” Jody said, shooting a look at Sam. “Come on, Cas! What do you like to do? Actual activities.”
“I…like to contemplate nature,” Castiel said slowly.
Jody nodded encouragingly. “Nature lover! Not a bad start. Any particular part?”
“I am very fond of bees.”
“Oh, god,” Dean muttered, rubbing his temples.
“What’s the problem, bucko?” Jody asked.
“Nothing.” Dean waved a hand. “Traumatic event concerning Cas and bees.”
“Do tell!” Jody looked expectantly at Castiel.
“Well,” Castiel said. “I was not entirely in my right mind.”
“Don’t,” Dean whispered.
“Dean called out to me, and I was communing with the bees, but I came to see him as he wanted,” Cas continued.
“He was naked!” Dean burst out. “Naked and covered in bees! On the hood of my car.” He glared at Castiel, who shrugged helplessly.
Jody threw back her head and laughed until she was gasping for breath.
“Oh, that is just wonderful,” she said when she could speak again. She wiped her streaming eyes, then reached out and squeezed Castiel’s forearm. “Okay, Castiel. You’re approved.”
Pairing: Castiel/Sam/Dean
Characters: Sam, Dean, Jody, Cas
Rating: Teen/PG-13
Word Count: 928
Disclaimer: All for fun, none for profit.
Summary: Sam and Dean introduce Jody to Castiel, who is newly their boyfriend. Jody is very Jody about it.
Warnings/tags: Sibling incest, humor, polyamory
A/N: Written for the SPN Poly Bingo, the Meet the Family square. I thought this was going to be more on the heartfelt side, but Jody highjacked it and turned it into a comedy. Also, please ignore the way the timeline doesn't really work with Cas having his wings at this point. *handwave handwave*
Read on AO3
***
“So, uh…” Dean cast a helpless, wide-eyed glance at Sam.
“We’ve been wanting to talk to you about something,” Sam said.
Jody raised her eyebrows. “Shoot,” she said. “You know you boys can tell me anything. Dean, stop looking at me like I’m going to slap your palm with a ruler!” Dean looked down and away, embarrassed.
Jody sighed. “Hell, you two told me about your relationship and I didn’t freak out. Doesn’t that earn me some trust?!”
“Okay, okay, calm down!” Dean said gruffly.
“I am calm!” Jody exhaled loudly through her nose and took a swig of beer.
“It’s sort of about our relationship,” Sam said.
“Is one of you pregnant?” Jody asked calmly. Dean choked on his beer and coughed as Sam pounded on his back. Jody grinned evilly.
“What the hell!” Dean spluttered.
Jody shrugged. “I don’t know what kind of magic you might have gotten yourself mixed up with!”
Dean glared at her. “Nobody is pregnant!”
“Great,” Jody said serenely. “Now that you don’t seem to think I’m going to bite your head off, maybe one of you can tell me what’s up.”
“We have a boyfriend,” Sam said. “Have you ever heard of polyamory?”
“Sure,” Jody said. “I heard a story on NPR about a thruple.”
“We kind of prefer triad,” Sam said. “But that’s just personal vocabulary choice. It’s the same thing.”
“Who’s the lucky fellow?” Jody asked.
“Castiel,” Dean said. Jody’s eyebrows drew together and she put her beer down.
“Oh,” she said.
“We don’t know what you’ve heard about him from Claire,” Sam said hesitantly.
“Claire’s had some choice words,” Jody admitted. “But she seems to be in a pretty good place with him nowadays.” She sucked her teeth. “I just hope he’s good enough for you boys.”
“What?!” Dean said incredulously.
“I mean – he’s an angel,” Sam said.
“Sure, but from what I understand, a lot of angels are assholes,” Jody said. She held up a hand as she saw them open their mouths to protest. “Now, I’m sure he’s better than most. But I’d like a chance to judge for myself. When can I meet him?”
Sam and Dean exchanged glances.
“Well – tonight, if you want,” Sam said hesitantly. “We were going to see if we could bring him over, but then we realized we hadn’t gotten a chance to tell you about our relationship yet, so we didn’t want to spring it on you with him in the room.”
“Do you have him waiting in the car?” Jody asked curiously, craning her neck to look out the window at the Impala, which was parked in the driveway.
Sam grinned. “No, but we pray to him, and if he’s available, he can be here instantly.”
“Well, go on then!” Jody said, gesturing expansively. “No time like the present.”
Sam shut his eyes. “Hey, Cas, it’s me,” he said. “Jody said she’d like to meet you, so if you’re not – ”
“Hello,” came a voice from the corner of the room. Jody’s head whipped around.
“You weren’t kidding about instantly,” she said, looking Castiel up and down. “Well, he’s handsome, all right. And clearly punctual.”
“Hello,” Castiel said again, walking towards Jody with his hand extended awkwardly.
“Jody Mills,” Jody said, taking his hand and shaking it firmly.
“I am Castiel,” Castiel said. “An angel of the Lord.”
Jody gave a slow nod and glanced at the Winchesters. “Does he always say that when he meets a new person?”
“Every friggin’ time,” Dean said.
Castiel glanced between Jody and Dean, looking puzzled. “It’s true. That is what I am.”
“Sure, but I don’t introduce myself as a human every time I meet someone,” Jody said.
“But the default assumption is that you are a human,” Castiel replied. “I look like a human, but I am not one.”
“Huh,” Jody said thoughtfully. “You have a point.” She patted the sofa cushion next to her. “Sit down. Tell me all about yourself.”
Castiel sat gingerly, like he was afraid the couch would blow up if he wasn’t careful. “I was created not long after the formation of the universe,” he started. Jody held up a hand.
“I’m gonna stop you right there,” she said. “I don’t need a blow-by-blow account. Just, you know, say a little about yourself.”
Castiel stared blankly at her, and she sighed.
“Do you have any hobbies?” she prompted him.
Castiel looked at Sam.
“He likes Netflix,” Sam supplied.
“Netflix isn’t a hobby, and I was asking Castiel, not you,” Jody said, shooting a look at Sam. “Come on, Cas! What do you like to do? Actual activities.”
“I…like to contemplate nature,” Castiel said slowly.
Jody nodded encouragingly. “Nature lover! Not a bad start. Any particular part?”
“I am very fond of bees.”
“Oh, god,” Dean muttered, rubbing his temples.
“What’s the problem, bucko?” Jody asked.
“Nothing.” Dean waved a hand. “Traumatic event concerning Cas and bees.”
“Do tell!” Jody looked expectantly at Castiel.
“Well,” Castiel said. “I was not entirely in my right mind.”
“Don’t,” Dean whispered.
“Dean called out to me, and I was communing with the bees, but I came to see him as he wanted,” Cas continued.
“He was naked!” Dean burst out. “Naked and covered in bees! On the hood of my car.” He glared at Castiel, who shrugged helplessly.
Jody threw back her head and laughed until she was gasping for breath.
“Oh, that is just wonderful,” she said when she could speak again. She wiped her streaming eyes, then reached out and squeezed Castiel’s forearm. “Okay, Castiel. You’re approved.”
